For the last few days, I've spent more time than I usually do looking inward. I started doing this when I realized I was, well, scared.

Not for myself so much. For one thing, I'm an old man. I've raised my kids, and I think I've given them the knowledge and skills they will need to survive anything I could survive.

But have I done everything I could to prevent this disaster from happening? Have I done all I could to help AWRM and the militia? What else could I have done to warn people about this disaster that I knew would happen one day?

Have I done my part, or have I let all of us down?

I know, hindsight is always 20/20, but I'm just not in a good place right now. I really hope this feeling will pass, and soon.

I went shopping at Wal-Mart the other day, like I do every week. I ended up spending considerably more than I normally do. A couple extra boxes of pistol ammo, a couple more cans of air rifle pellets, another can of Break Free, another half dozen cans of beef stew, and another box of canning lids.

And as I was driving home, I noticed one of my neighbors had thrown away an old TV. I liberated the power cord. That will make at least half a dozen serviceable small-game snares. (I already have hundreds, if not thousands, stored away in a couple ammo cans.)

So, yeah, I guess I'm ready. I'm just not too happy.

Onward and upward,
airforce