AWRM
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Elephant Stew and Other Wild Food Recipes #98400
07/12/2006 05:36 PM
07/12/2006 05:36 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
airforce Online content OP
Administrator
airforce  Online Content OP
Administrator
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
Posted by: airforce Nov 27 2005, 10:59 AM
A Philosophy of Eating Cheap

If you have been following my Preparedness series of articles, you already know how I feel about eating wild foods in survival situations. An emergency is a pretty rotten time to go hunting for wild critters and plants to fill your belly. For one thing, hunting for these foods probably won't be as easy as you think, unless you've had some practice at it beforehand. Secondly, a lot of other things are quite likely to be happening at the same time; you may not have the time to go scrounging for food. Finally, you will quite likely be under a great deal of stress; trying to eat unfamiliar foods will only add to that stress level.

In short, I firmly believe

THE BEST TIME TO GATHER, PREPARE, AND EAT WILD FOODS IS RIGHT NOW.

Now is the best time to learn how to identify edible wild plants, and how to locate, hunt, and trap edible critters. Furthermore, starting now will help you save money to help pay for your emergency fuels, foods, and medical supplies.

Think of it this way: In a survival situation, which would you rather have--an opossum, or a can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew? I'll tell you what I would rather have, and it sure ain't the opossum.

Well, if you can save five bucks a week on your grocery bill by including wild foods in your diet, that's five bucks more you can spend a week on extra cans of stew. Trust me, it's worth it.

Of course, it won't be easy. You will have to educate yourself on how to identify edible plants, locate them in your area, and learn how to harvest them for consumption at the best times. This will require an investment of a few dollars for field guides, and many hours of study and practice. If you have never done this before, the learning curve can be quite steep.

Fortunately, your local bookstore probably has quite a few books on the subject. Field quides are getting better and better; avoid those Audobon guides, and pick up a couple of the newer ones. There are so many on the market now that I honestly have a hard time recommending any one. There are quite likely specialized guides concentrating on plants common in your area.

For learning about animals, the Stokely Field Guides are an excellent choice. However, nothing beats the classic Field Guide to Animal Tracks, by Olaus J. Murie. This is getting hard to find, though; you may have to go on Amazon.com to find it.

I'll be adding to this list of recipes as I get time (and as I can pry them out of my wife). I don't want to be the only one contributing to this, though. If you have a favorite recipe, by all means share it with us!

just to start things off, let me give you

Tucker's Elephant Stew for an Army Brigade

1 Medium elephant, diced
1,114 Potatoes, sliced
983 Parsnips, washed, peeled, and sliced
862 Onions, chopped
691 Cups peas
917 Gallons brown gravy
2 Rabbits (Optional)
Salt and pepper to taste

Place diced elephant in a large pot and add the brown gravy to cover. Cook meat over a kerosene fire for four weeks, adding water from time to time as necessary. Reduce heat; add potatoes, vegetables, salt, and pepper, cover, and simmer for an additional half hour.

This will serve an Army Infantry Brigade (Mechanized). If additional guests are expected (such as the major general and his adjutant) you may add the rabbits, but most folks don't like hare in their stew.

Onward and upward,
airforce

Posted by: airforce Nov 30 2005, 12:28 PM
ACORNS

Here's a little something for all the gatherers out there! Acorns were an important food source for Native Americans and early settlers.

Acorns are usually gathered in the fall. Dip dried acorns in sugar and serve. Ground acorns are often used as a flour substitute in baking, and as a soup and stew thickener. Roasted acorns were also a popular coffee substitute.

Red Oaks. These bitter acorns are oval-shaped with wooly hairs lining the cup. These acorns will remain on the trees throughout the winter months. To make these acorns safe to eat first shell, then boil the kernels for at least two hours, changing the water each time it becomes tea-colored. Continue this until the water remains clear and the nut is chocolate in color.

You can also make meal by grinding the dry, raw acorn kernels. Mix with boiling water and press out the liquid through a cheesecloth; you may have to repeat this several times. Spread on a tray and thoroughly dry in an oven at 250 F. The meal will cake during the drying process; regrind using a food chopper, then seal in containers (usually glass jars).

White Oaks. These sweet acorns need only be shelled and roasted.

ACORN BREAD

1 cup acorn meal
1 cup flour
2 tablespoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons sugar
1 egg, beaten
1 cup milk
3 tablespoons oil

Stir together the acorn meal, flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar. In a separate bowl, mix together the egg, milk, and oil. Combine the ingredients, and stir just enough to moisten the dry ingredients. pour into a greasd pan and bake at 400 F for 30 minutes.

ACORN PANCAKES

1 cup acorn meal
1 cup flour
2 tablespoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons sugar
2 eggs, beaten
1 1/2 cups milk
3 tablespoons oil

Mix together the dry ingredients as above. In a separate bowl, mix together the eggs, milk, and oil. Combine ingredients. Spread batter thinly on a hot griddle. when edges begin to bubble, flip and brown on other side. Serve with maple syrup or jelly.

ACORN PANCAKES #2

Break an egg into a bowl. Add:
1 teaspoon salad oil
1 teaspoon honey or sugar
1/2 cup ground acorns
1/2 cup corn meal
1/2 cup whole wheat or white flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon of salt
1/2 cup of milk

Beat all together. If the batter is too thick to pour, thin it with milk. Pour pancakes into a hot, greased griddle and cook slowly until brown on both sides.

Serve with butter and syrup or wild blackberry jam.

Onward and upward,
airforce

Re: Elephant Stew and Other Wild Food Recipes #98401
10/11/2008 12:14 PM
10/11/2008 12:14 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
airforce Online content OP
Administrator
airforce  Online Content OP
Administrator
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
Considering the economic conditions we are facing, perhaps it is time I revived some of the these moribund "survival" topics I started a long time ago. These were always "works in progress" anyway, but I got sidetracked from them by other priorities.

Well, it's time I get back to them.

DANDELIONS

A short little historic note here. Prisoners of war in Germany during WWII often supplemented their diet with dandelion greens. They're rich in nutrients, and sick or wounded soldiers and airmen seemed to recover more quickly with a few greens added to their daily diet.

They served another purpose, as well. When planning an escape, prisoners would set aside some of their daily meals for "escape rations," food to be consumed while making their way to friendly territory. However, they still had to keep their strength up for the actual escape. Scrounged foods such as dandelions did this nicely.

So, here's a couple recipes for dandelion greens. Try them out next spring.

Dandelion Greens Supreme

1 tbsp. butter or margarine
4 cups chopped dandelion greens
2 tbsp. beef broth
1/4 cup onions, chopped
1/4 cup fried bacon
2 tbsp. heavy cream

Melt butter in a deep skillet. Stir in dandelion, onions, and broth. Cover and cook over medium heat for 10 or 12 minutes, stirring occasionally. Mix in heavy cream and bacon, and cook until most of the liquid disappears. Season to taste with salt and pepper.


Dandelion Greens

4 cups dandelion greens, washed
1/2 cup diced onions
2 tbsp. butter or margarine

Immerse dandelion in salted boiling water, and cook until water returns to a rapid boil. Drain and chop. saute onions in butter and mix in greens. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Dandelion Root

A couple survival books I've run across mention that dandelions have a deep taproot, and this root, when roasted, tastes a little like popcorn.

My advice: If you like popcorn, then buy some popcorn. It's just too much work digging out those freakin' roots.


So there's a couple recipes for you. Anyone have any more?

Onward and upward,
airforce

Re: Elephant Stew and Other Wild Food Recipes #98402
10/11/2008 08:31 PM
10/11/2008 08:31 PM

A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A


Here's an MRE recipe you can have with elephant stew.

When you find your good deal on some MRE's here is a good recipie you can use to spice it up a little!


Cheez Ranger - by Frank Rodgers

I had a date the other night at my place. On the phone the day before, the girl asked me to "Cook her something she's never had before" for dinner.

After many minutes of scratching my head over what to make, I finally settled on something she has DEFINATELY never eaten.

I got out my trusty case of MRE's. Meal, Ready-to-Eat. Field rations that when eaten in their entirety contain 3000+ calories. Here's what I made: I took three of the Ham Slices out of their plastic packets, took out three of the Pork Chops, three packets of Chicken-a-la-King, and eight packets of dehydrated butter noodles and some dehydrated/rehydrated rice. I cooked the Ham Slices and Pork Chops in one pan, sauteed in shaved garlic and olive oil.

In another pot, I blended the Chicken a-la-king, noodles, and rice together to make a sort of mush that looked suspiciously like succotash. I added some spices, and blended everything together in a glass pan that I then cooked in the oven for about 35 minutes at 450 degrees.

When I took it out, it looked like, well, ham slices, pork chops, and a bed of yellow poop. I covered the tops of the meat in the MRE cheese (kinda like velveeta) and added some green sprinkly thingys from one of my spice cans (hey, if it's got green sprinkly thingys on it, it (looks fancy right?)

For dessert, I took four MRE Pound Cakes, mashed 'em up, added five packets of cocoa powder, powdered coffee cream, and some water. I heated it up and stirred it until it looked like a sort of chunky gelatinous organism, and I sprinkled powdered sugar on top of it. Voila--Ranger Pudding.

For alcoholic drinks, I took the rest of my bottle of Military Special Vodka (yes, they DO make a type of liquor named "Military Special"--it sells for $4.35 per fifth) and mixed in four packets of "Electrolytes - 1 each - Cherry flavored" (I swear, the packet says that). It looked like an eerie kool-aid with sparkles in it (that was the electrolytes I guess... could've been leftover sand from Egypt).

I lit two candles, put a vase of wildflowers in the middle, and set the table with my best set of Ralph Lauren Academy-series China ( my set of 8 place settings cost me over $600), and put the alcoholic drink in a crystal wine decanter. She came over, and I had some appetizers already made, of MRE spaghetti-with-meatballs, set in small cups. She saw the dinner, saw the food, and said "This looks INCREDIBLE!!!" We dug in, and she was loving the food. Throughout the meal, she kept asking me how long it took me to make it, and kept remarking that I obviously knew a thing or two about cooking fine meals. She kind of balked at the makeshift "wine" I had set out, but after she tried it I guess she liked it because she drank four glasses during dinner.

At the end of the main course, when I served the dessert, she squealed with delight at the "Chocolate mousse" I had made. Huh? Chocolate what? Okay... yeah... it's Chocolate Moose. Took me HOURS to make... yup.

Later on, as we were watching a movie, she excused herself to use my restroom. While she was in there, I heard her say softly to herself "uh oh" and a resounding but petite f**t punctuated her utterance of dismay.


Let the games begin.

She sprayed about half a can of air freshener (Air Freshener, 1 each, Orange scent. Yup. The Army even makes smellgood) and returned to the couch, this time with an obvious pained look. After 10 more minutes she excused herself again, and retreated to the bathroom for the second time. I could hear her say "What the hell is WRONG with me???," as she again send flatulent shockwaves into the porcelain bowl. This time, they sounded kinda wet, and I heard the toilet paper roll being employed, and again, LOTS more air freshener.

Back to the couch. She smiles meekly as she decides to sit on the chair instead of next to me. She sits on my chair, knees pulled up to her chest, kind of rocking back and forth slightly. Suddenly, without a word, she ROCKETED up and FLEW to the bathroom, slammed the door, and didn't come out for 30 minutes.

I turned the movie up because I didn't want her to hear me laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my cheeks.

She came out with a slightly gray palor to her face, and said "I am SOOOOOO sorry. I have NO idea what is wrong with me. I am so embarrassed, I can't believe I keep running to your bathroom!!" I gave her an Immodium AD, and she finally settled down and relaxed.

Later on, she asked me again what I had made for dinner, because she had enjoyed it so much. I calmly took her into the kitchen and showed her all the used MRE bags and packets in the trash can.

After explaining to her that she had eaten roughly 9,000 calories of "Army food" she turned stark white, looked at me incredulously, and said "I ate 9,000 calories or dehydrated food that was made 3 years ago?"

After I concurred, she grabbed her coat and keys, and took off without a word. She called me yesterday. Seems she couldn't s**t for 3 days, and when she finally did, the smell was so bad, her roommate could smell it from down the hall. She also told me she had been working out nonstop to combat the high caloric intake, and that she never wanted me to cook dinner for her again, unless she was PERSONALLY there to inspect the food beforehand.

It was a fun date. She laughed about it eventually, and said that that was the first time she'd ever crapped in a guy's house on a date. She'd been so upset by it she was in tears in the bathroom while I had been in tears on the couch.

It was a fun night.

Re: Elephant Stew and Other Wild Food Recipes #98403
10/12/2008 08:48 AM
10/12/2008 08:48 AM
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 648
The West Coast of the East Coa...
T
Tangalor Offline
Member
Tangalor  Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 648
The West Coast of the East Coa...
One word: CatTails http://www.backwoodshome.com/articles/duffyk43.html

there are innumerable ways to use this vastly under-appreciated resource

http://www.wildmanstevebrill.com/Plants.Folder/Cattails.html

http://www.essortment.com/all/whatarecattail_rile.htm

http://www.countrybed.com/furniture/furn_documents/rush.htm

http://earthnotes.tripod.com/cattail.htm

http://www.slashfood.com/2008/05/25/cattails-the-supermarket-of-the-swamp/

there are countless ways to use this excellent plant, and if yer from 'round these here parts (Florida), there're plenty of 'em!

Sorry for the lack of comic relief, My funny bone broke when I was camping with the scouts (Cubs!!) this weekend, and will not be mended until the beer starts tasting better. wink


"Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and the lies of their culture - will never be understood, let alone believed, by the masses" - Plato
Re: Elephant Stew and Other Wild Food Recipes #98404
10/12/2008 11:12 AM
10/12/2008 11:12 AM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
airforce Online content OP
Administrator
airforce  Online Content OP
Administrator
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
Yep, cattails are an excellent, and abundant, food source. Every part of the plant is edible, at one time of the year or another. Even in the dead of winter, their roots can be dug up and roasted.

Cattails on the Cob

Gather green cattail spikes in early spring. Clean them in cold water. Place them in a pot, cover with water, and boil for about 10 or 15 minutes. Drain, and serve with butter. Eat them like you would corn on the cob.

Onward and upward,
airforce

Re: Elephant Stew and Other Wild Food Recipes #98405
10/16/2008 12:17 PM
10/16/2008 12:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
airforce Online content OP
Administrator
airforce  Online Content OP
Administrator
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
SQUIRRELS

Animals I used to see only in the wild--and then, only rarely--seem to be adapting quite well to city life. The other night while driving home, I saw no less than three red foxes crossing Riverside Drive, less than two miles from downtown Tulsa. And raccoons have been garbage cans around town for years.

But few critters have adapted themselves to cities as well as the gray squirrel. If you have a bird feeder in your backyard, I'd be willing to bet that squirrels are raiding it daily. And if you have an apple or nut tree in your backyard, chances are squirrels are grabbing more of the fruit than you are.

With all this meat and protein wandering around creating havoc, you would think more folks would be harvesting the little critters. But few people I talk to have ever eaten a squirrel, and those that have were less than impressed.

There's a couple reasons for this. For one thing, the age of a squrrel has a huge bearing on how you should cook it. And, for another, squrrels are surprisingly tough to skin and dress properly, particularly the old ones.

Aging Squirrels

Older squirrels can be tougher than shoe leather of not cooked properly, while young ones can be prepared in a number of ways. Small squirrels that skin easily are young.

The scrotum on older males tend to be large, blackened, and wrinkled, and have little hair. Scrotums of younger males are usually covered with hair, and are smaller and smooth.

Nipples on older females are larger and dark, while those of younger females are smaller and lighter in color.

Skinning Squirrels

If you want to tan the pelt, squirrels can be case skinned. This takes more time, and can be pretty hard with an older squirrel. Here is the method I normally use:

1. Make about a two-inch cut across the back, and about halfway between

the head and the tail.

2. Insert the fingers of each hand under the skin, and pull in opposite directions. this isn't easy to do; it takes quite a bit of effort.

3. Cut off the feet, head, and tail as the skin reaches those areas.

4. To dress them out, slit the belly skin starting at the vent up to the rib cage. be careful not to puncture the entrails.

5. Cut through the chest wall through the ribs, and through the pelvic girdle that lies over the rectal area. The entrails, anus, and genitals can now be pulled downward the vent.

Cleaning and Cutting Up Squirrels

No matter how you skin a squirrel, you'll end up with some hair on the meat. Washing the carcass in cold running water immediately after skinning will help some, but You will likely still have to pick off some hair.

Trim away any shot-damaged meat. Soaking the squirrel overnight in a salt water or vinegar-and-water solution will improve its flavor, especially for older squirrels.

Squirrels and rabbits are normally quartered. Pressing or twisting down on the rear legs dislocates the hip joint. The real legs are then cut away.

The front shoulders are removed by cutting down between the shoulder girdle and rib cage. If it's a young squirrel, these pieces can be used for frying.

That leaves the back, rib cage, and neck. The larger meat on the back can be boned out and used for frying, if young. Or you can cut away the back, rib cage, and neck, dice it, and use it for soup stock or stews.

For older critters, the entire carcass is used for stews, but you should still quarter it as above.

You can also boil the whole carcass for a couple hours until done, then remove the meat from the bones. The meat can them be ground to make sandwiches, or diced and used in casseroles.

Next, I'll have a few recipes.

Onward and upward,
airforce

Re: Elephant Stew and Other Wild Food Recipes #98406
10/16/2008 10:30 PM
10/16/2008 10:30 PM
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 648
The West Coast of the East Coa...
T
Tangalor Offline
Member
Tangalor  Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 648
The West Coast of the East Coa...


"Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and the lies of their culture - will never be understood, let alone believed, by the masses" - Plato
Re: Elephant Stew and Other Wild Food Recipes #98407
10/23/2008 11:43 AM
10/23/2008 11:43 AM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
airforce Online content OP
Administrator
airforce  Online Content OP
Administrator
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
Squirrel-and-Pumpkin Pie

Just in time for the holiday season, here's this recipe. It's a fall favorite in many parts of the country, and works for tough old squirrels as well. Cheap protein, and delicious.

Skin and dress one or more squirrels. Cut into pieces, and remove any shot-damaged meat, and soak overnight in a glass or enamel container in salted water. Boil for about two hours, until the meat can be removed from the bones. Dice, mix with the pumpkin filling, and bake as you normally would.

Fried Squirrel

Cut a young squirrel into serving-size pieces. remove any shot-damaged meat. Soak overnight in Italian dressing, or oil-and-vinegar dressing. Drain, but do not pat dry.

Coat the pieces in flour seasoned with salt and pepper, and fry in a skillet in about 1/2 inch of oil. brown quickly on both sides, then turn down the heat and cook until tender and the juices run clear.

Remove from the skillet. Make a flour-and-water gravy from the pan drippings.

Brunswick Stew

Here is a big recipe for older squirrels. It freezes well.

4 Squirrels, cleaned and disjointed
1 Large onion, diced
1 Tbsp butter
2 16-ounce packages baby lima beans
2 16-ounce packages whole kernel corn
2 16-ounce packages okra
1 14 1/2 can diced tomatoes
1 Small bottle Worcestershire sauce
Cayenne pepper
Salt and pepper

Cook the squirrels in salted water until the meat falls from the bones. Dice, straining and saving the cooking water.

Saute the onion in butter until light brown. Place the diced meat, onion, and vegetables into a large, heavy-bottomed pan. Stir in the Worcestershire sauce, and some of the cooking liquid. Add cayenne pepper, salt, and pepper to taste.

Cook for about 5 hours over very low heat, stirring often to keep from sticking, and adding cooking liquid as needed.

Baked Squirrel

Here's another recipe for older squirrels:

Cut up squirrels and soak for 24 to 48 hours in equal parts water and vinegar. (As always, marinate in a glass or enamel container.) Drain and pat dry.

Coat each piece with seasoned flour, and brown on both sides in a little oil.

Place the meat in a casserole dish. Stir a little flour into the pan drippings, along with one package of dry onion soup mix. Add two cups hot water, and stir to blend. Add one 10 1/2-ounce can of cream of chicken soup, and again stir to blend.

Pour over the meat, adding more water if necessary to cover the meat. Cover tightly, and bake at 325 degrees for for at least 1 hour, or until tender. Add more water if needed.

Squirrel Stew

Here's another recipe for stew. This one will make even the toughest old squirrel tender.

Clean and cut up one or two squirrels, removing any shot-damaged meat. Place in a slow cooker with one medium onion, quartered, and two chopped stalks of celery. Cover with water, adding one teaspoon of salt for each quart of water. Simmer until the meat falls from the bones.

Pick the meat from the bones, and strain the broth into a 4-quart heavy pan. Add diced carrots and diced potatoes, and cook until tender.

Add the diced meat, and two or three cans of your favorite vegetables. thicken slightly with flour and water, or stir in a can of cream of mushroom soup.

Onward and upward,
airforce

Re: Elephant Stew and Other Wild Food Recipes #98408
10/23/2008 04:43 PM
10/23/2008 04:43 PM

A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A


I don't know if I could bring myself to eat a squirrel after all it is a part of the rhodent family and resembles a rat except for the bushy tail. Here is a recipie that you can use if you happen to have some extra MRE's laying around the house.

When you find your good deal on some MRE's here is a good recipie you can use to spice it up a little!


Cheez Ranger - by Frank Rodgers

I had a date the other night at my place. On the phone the day before, the girl asked me to "Cook her something she's never had before" for dinner.

After many minutes of scratching my head over what to make, I finally settled on something she has DEFINATELY never eaten.

I got out my trusty case of MRE's. Meal, Ready-to-Eat. Field rations that when eaten in their entirety contain 3000+ calories. Here's what I made: I took three of the Ham Slices out of their plastic packets, took out three of the Pork Chops, three packets of Chicken-a-la-King, and eight packets of dehydrated butter noodles and some dehydrated/rehydrated rice. I cooked the Ham Slices and Pork Chops in one pan, sauteed in shaved garlic and olive oil.

In another pot, I blended the Chicken a-la-king, noodles, and rice together to make a sort of mush that looked suspiciously like succotash. I added some spices, and blended everything together in a glass pan that I then cooked in the oven for about 35 minutes at 450 degrees.

When I took it out, it looked like, well, ham slices, pork chops, and a bed of yellow poop. I covered the tops of the meat in the MRE cheese (kinda like velveeta) and added some green sprinkly thingys from one of my spice cans (hey, if it's got green sprinkly thingys on it, it (looks fancy right?)

For dessert, I took four MRE Pound Cakes, mashed 'em up, added five packets of cocoa powder, powdered coffee cream, and some water. I heated it up and stirred it until it looked like a sort of chunky gelatinous organism, and I sprinkled powdered sugar on top of it. Voila--Ranger Pudding.

For alcoholic drinks, I took the rest of my bottle of Military Special Vodka (yes, they DO make a type of liquor named "Military Special"--it sells for $4.35 per fifth) and mixed in four packets of "Electrolytes - 1 each - Cherry flavored" (I swear, the packet says that). It looked like an eerie kool-aid with sparkles in it (that was the electrolytes I guess... could've been leftover sand from Egypt).

I lit two candles, put a vase of wildflowers in the middle, and set the table with my best set of Ralph Lauren Academy-series China ( my set of 8 place settings cost me over $600), and put the alcoholic drink in a crystal wine decanter. She came over, and I had some appetizers already made, of MRE spaghetti-with-meatballs, set in small cups. She saw the dinner, saw the food, and said "This looks INCREDIBLE!!!" We dug in, and she was loving the food. Throughout the meal, she kept asking me how long it took me to make it, and kept remarking that I obviously knew a thing or two about cooking fine meals. She kind of balked at the makeshift "wine" I had set out, but after she tried it I guess she liked it because she drank four glasses during dinner.

At the end of the main course, when I served the dessert, she squealed with delight at the "Chocolate mousse" I had made. Huh? Chocolate what? Okay... yeah... it's Chocolate Moose. Took me HOURS to make... yup.

Later on, as we were watching a movie, she excused herself to use my restroom. While she was in there, I heard her say softly to herself "uh oh" and a resounding but petite f**t punctuated her utterance of dismay.


Let the games begin.

She sprayed about half a can of air freshener (Air Freshener, 1 each, Orange scent. Yup. The Army even makes smellgood) and returned to the couch, this time with an obvious pained look. After 10 more minutes she excused herself again, and retreated to the bathroom for the second time. I could hear her say "What the hell is WRONG with me???," as she again send flatulent shockwaves into the porcelain bowl. This time, they sounded kinda wet, and I heard the toilet paper roll being employed, and again, LOTS more air freshener.

Back to the couch. She smiles meekly as she decides to sit on the chair instead of next to me. She sits on my chair, knees pulled up to her chest, kind of rocking back and forth slightly. Suddenly, without a word, she ROCKETED up and FLEW to the bathroom, slammed the door, and didn't come out for 30 minutes.

I turned the movie up because I didn't want her to hear me laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my cheeks.

She came out with a slightly gray palor to her face, and said "I am SOOOOOO sorry. I have NO idea what is wrong with me. I am so embarrassed, I can't believe I keep running to your bathroom!!" I gave her an Immodium AD, and she finally settled down and relaxed.

Later on, she asked me again what I had made for dinner, because she had enjoyed it so much. I calmly took her into the kitchen and showed her all the used MRE bags and packets in the trash can.

After explaining to her that she had eaten roughly 9,000 calories of "Army food" she turned stark white, looked at me incredulously, and said "I ate 9,000 calories or dehydrated food that was made 3 years ago?"

After I concurred, she grabbed her coat and keys, and took off without a word. She called me yesterday. Seems she couldn't s**t for 3 days, and when she finally did, the smell was so bad, her roommate could smell it from down the hall. She also told me she had been working out nonstop to combat the high caloric intake, and that she never wanted me to cook dinner for her again, unless she was PERSONALLY there to inspect the food beforehand.

It was a fun date. She laughed about it eventually, and said that that was the first time she'd ever crapped in a guy's house on a date. She'd been so upset by it she was in tears in the bathroom while I had been in tears on the couch.

It was a fun night.

Re: Elephant Stew and Other Wild Food Recipes #98409
10/23/2008 10:40 PM
10/23/2008 10:40 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
airforce Online content OP
Administrator
airforce  Online Content OP
Administrator
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
Quote
Originally posted by RD6:
I don't know if I could bring myself to eat a squirrel after all it is a part of the rodent family and resembles a rat except for the bushy tail.
They're actually pretty good. They're white meat like a rabbit, though not quite as light as rabbit. I always thought they taste a little bit like dark meat on a turkey.

How you guys can eat that freeze-dried crap, though, is beyond me. Yeah, I had MRE's my last few years in the military, but it sure as heck wasn't by choice. Give me those old C-rations any day.

Onward and upward,
airforce

Re: Elephant Stew and Other Wild Food Recipes #98410
10/24/2008 04:34 PM
10/24/2008 04:34 PM

A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A


Quote
Originally posted by airforce:
Quote
Originally posted by RD6:
[b] I don't know if I could bring myself to eat a squirrel after all it is a part of the rodent family and resembles a rat except for the bushy tail.
They're actually pretty good. They're white meat like a rabbit, though not quite as light as rabbit. I always thought they taste a little bit like dark meat on a turkey.

How you guys can eat that freeze-dried crap, though, is beyond me. Yeah, I had MRE's my last few years in the military, but it sure as heck wasn't by choice. Give me those old C-rations any day.

Onward and upward,
airforce [/b]
Actually I prefer the C-Rats to MRE's also. I liked everything except the Ham & Mother F---ers!
You had to check the dates on them before you ate them. When I was in Vietnam we got a batch that was dated 1945! Nobody ate them!

Re: Elephant Stew and Other Wild Food Recipes #98411
11/06/2008 10:25 AM
11/06/2008 10:25 AM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
airforce Online content OP
Administrator
airforce  Online Content OP
Administrator
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
Early next year, a few short weeks after President Obama takes office, we'll all get something most of us never want to see: Those damn yellow weeds, popping up in our lawns, gardens, and fields.

What most of you don't know is, we can put them to some pretty good use.

Dandelion Wine

4 quarts dandelion blossoms
4 quarts water
3 lemons, sliced
1 yeast cake
3 lbs sugar

Combine blossoms and water in a crock, and let stand covered for 9 days. Squeeze out the blossoms, and strain the juice. Add sugar, lemons, and yeast, and let stand for another 9 days.

Strain the liquid, and put it in a jug, leaving the cork out until fermentation ceases. Cork, cool, and enjoy.

Beetroot Wine

Here's another recipe to help us get through the next four years:

6 lbs beets
1 gallon water
few grains of rice
3 lbs white sugar
2 lbs seedless raisins
1 slice toast
juice of two lemons

Wash beets and cut into small pieces. Boil gently in one gallon of water for two hours. Strain, and pour into a large crock. add raisins, lemons, and rice, then stir in the sugar until completely dissolved.

Spread yeast on one side of toast and place yeast-side-down on the liquid. Cover and let stand 10 to 12 days, stirring three times a day. Strain, and bottle.

Onward and upward,
airforce

Re: Elephant Stew and Other Wild Food Recipes #98412
11/13/2008 11:44 AM
11/13/2008 11:44 AM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
airforce Online content OP
Administrator
airforce  Online Content OP
Administrator
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
PIGEONS

[Linked Image]

I can't think of another wild bird that is as abundant, and has as much food value, as the common feral pigeon, or rock dove. This Eurasian immigrant is literally everywhere, but is especially important for those living in cities. Don't turn up your nose at them; after all, they were originally bred for food.

Pigeons are usually skinned, rather than plucked. using a pocket knife and game shears, I can skin and dress out a pigeon in about a minute.

Start by removing the head with game shears. Remove the wings with game shears also, being careful of the sharp bones which can stab your hand. Remove the bottom portion of the legs with the shears, at the joint where the feathers and shin join.

Now hold the carcass with the tail pointing away from you. Grasp the belly skin and pull upward toward the head. Continue pulling away the skin and eathers; the skin will come off easily.

Remove the crop, then make an incision across the belly just under the breast bone. bend the breast bone back until you can reach in and pull the entrails down toward the vent. Then make a 45-degree cut down each side of the tailpiece to remove the entrails, tailpiece, and vent all in one section.

Pigeons can also be "breasted." This is even easier, but it wastes some food. Insert your fingertips below the breastbone and pull upward. Use game shears to clip the breast from the wing bones and backbone. A small patch of skin and feathers will come off with the breast; simply pull off and discard.

The hard part, of course, is getting the pigeons in the first place. If you have the money, you can invest in a trap such as this .

They can be taken quietly with a high-powered air rifle. I can easily pick them off when they gather under my bird feeder to scrounge for dropped seed.

I've never tried it, but I'm told they can be jacklighted and pulled from their roosts at night with a catch pole. I would think birds roosting under bridges and overpasses could easily be taken this way, but don't risk getting caught.

One method I have tried, and works, is longlining. Use several #6 or #8 fish hooks attached to 30-pound fish line, and bait with kernels of corn or wheat. Scatter some other bait around to attract the birds. The bait I've found that seems to work the best is canned whole corn. When I've tried this, I've caught one or two birds a day with a dozen hooks. I'm certain that using more hooks and trapping in more than one location would yield more birds. (HINT: Sharpen your hooks with a fine-grain Arkansas stone.)

Various snare set-ups can also be used. I've only caught an occasional bird with them, but I never really tried this seriously. A little more experimentation probably wouldn't hurt. Fashion the snares from a few strands of copper appliance wire.

Next up, a few recipes.

Onward and upward,
airforce

Re: Elephant Stew and Other Wild Food Recipes #98413
11/15/2008 11:16 AM
11/15/2008 11:16 AM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
airforce Online content OP
Administrator
airforce  Online Content OP
Administrator
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
Here's my favorite pigeon recipe. Enjoy!

Pigeon Pot Pie

Pastry for double pie crust
5 Pigeons
2 Tsp. salt
1/2 Onion, minced
1 Stalk celery, chopped
3 Whole cloves
1/2 lb. salt pork, diced
Cornstarch
Thinly sliced potatoes

Cut pigeons in half and place in a large pot along with the salt pork. Cover with water and bring to a boil. Skim the surface. Add salt, onion, celery, and cloves, and simmer for 20 minutes. Take out the meat and thinken the liquid with cornstarch.

Remove bones from the pigeons and cut larger pieces of meat into smaller chunks. Line a baking dish with pastry, and cover this with a layer of thinly sliced potatoes. Add the meat pieces, and cover with another layer of thinly sliced potatoes. Pour in the liquid from the pot, and cover with pastry. Make three slits in in center of pie to allow steam to escape, and bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.

Onward and upward,
airforce

Re: Elephant Stew and Other Wild Food Recipes #98414
02/27/2011 01:22 AM
02/27/2011 01:22 AM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
airforce Online content OP
Administrator
airforce  Online Content OP
Administrator
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 23,924
Tulsa
Bump. With the price and scarcity of food in the grocery stores, it might be time to bring this thread up again.

Onward and upward,
airforce


Moderated by  airforce, ConSigCor 

.
©>
©All information posted on this site is the private property of the individual author and AWRM.net and may not be reproduced without permission. © 2001-2020 AWRM.net All Rights Reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.1.1