Let's have some fun. We need to.

Write your own cop story, like the ones on the back of those newsstand police magazines but cut all the cop BS out. Make it sound like a report, but write as if yes you are relating a cop story but tell it like you would to your cop buddies away from civilians.

Whose first?

Here's mine:

I'm from the government. I work at the TSA-traspiretation security agency. I check fer bombs an Al Kada looking to infiltrat.

Terrists can be anyone. For example. last week an old geezer in a wheelchair came rolling up. My bossman is smart and he says that there could be explosives in the chair or if he has poop bags.

I go up to him to order him to stand so we can serch his companin becoms uncoopritv clamin he cant stand he crippled. Lady I don't give a fuck we run this cuntry and you do what the fuck we say!

I then notice the suspect has a weapon, it's some kind of five pointed throwin star hanging from a ribbon around his neck-SECURITY! SECURITY! I yell just like I was traind to so we takle this whit Al Kada before he could deploy his weapon. The bitch wo was with him kept crying he's a vet from world war whatev and thats something congress gave him but I shut that bitch up real fast when me and my Brothers tackled her to the grownd as well.

Airport Securty aint all stress we have good times especily wen peepl hav to choos bein scanned and we get to see im naked or us gettin to feel them up an if we really want em we can do th enhanced serch we get all kinds working. Some lik to check n mak sure there arnt no elderly terrorist some lik to mak sure OBL ain't got the children packing semtex-we even check the infants and we got people working the front lines of terror that dont mind giving the tykes their first cavity serch not one bit no sir!

We all lik to check the pretty girls. Bak in some war insurrectinst lik to use a bitch becaus nobody wud check them they charm their way past duly constuted checkpoints and plant explosives and assassnate. Not on my watch no sir!

So we get this pretty littl bruntt and she opts out of the scan damn! Now this crazy litl cunt says tat our scannrs give them cancer but the UNITED STATES GOVERNMENTS says its safe so you que up to get scanned or WE do teh search, which is fine by me cuz who don't like a pretty yung thing. Maybe cept fer some who prefer kids but hey Al Kada can be anywhere!

We surround her makin sure she has no tactcal optins an she starts with the consttitute crap aw man not a good way to start things off lil missy! We order her to the private screenin room (heh heh) and she startds screemin an makin demands so I tackl her good! Me an well, everyone an we were all over her good I think my hand mightve slip under her blows an got a quick handfull but the boss says we hav to be thurough so that what we do!

We tak her to the back room an order her to strip but shes blubbers and cries so we strip her down for her and she screems so my partner gets out the mace-NO! Not in the screening room man, use the taser!

Oh okay he says. So he get the taser owt and shocks her. Takes the fight right out of her but dang it I confes I like a littl fight. Needless to say we serched her good, n repetedly and I got some qwality coppage out of it. Got a report Al Kada was planting explosives in rectums, vaginas and even boob jobs an some boob jobs look damn convincing-but we search em all regardless repetedly.

Th lil bitch is suing but my boss says I do a good job I just need to be as enthusitic with the childrn but forntluy my Brother Ofifcrs who really lik to do that crowd me owt so all I got to do is mak sure they dont escap or pull a weapon out of their rectum.

I thought you wanted true stories...

If so, let me know and I'll share my favorite one "from the inside."